Reflection of 2019: the evolution of relationships and why New Moon in Scorpio is the final purge!

2019 has been the year of diving deep into relationships. The relationship we have with our family, beloveds, colleagues, projects, creativity, our self expression from an authentic space and our friendships. This is the year where we’ve had two malefic planets Saturn the grandfather archetype, the teacher and the one that informs us we are not ready yet has been in retrograde from April to September, and the other Pluto the Kali energy, all about transformation, purging, shedding and allowing room for the new to be birthed. These two have been position at the South Node in Capricorn, giving us ample opportunity to bring to surface our deepest shadows, only to let go and purge what is not working for us so we can move forward into our higher path of self expression. Pluto went into retrograde in April and direct in October almost six months of pull and push energy bringing up years of stale deep dark shadows, that we’ve held in our subconscious. They rise more in our relationships as they mirror back to us what we do not have the capacity to see within ourselves.

Retrogrades are important, they hone in on the work that needs to be unpacked, that needs to be resolved so we can move forward unapologetically. Relationships are beautiful and yet they are our biggest teachers. This year the most important relationship we have been faced with is the relationship we have with ourselves. Especially when Uranus moved into Taurus in March, we were given a cosmic alignment to start to work with our conditioning, our beliefs our values. The old ways of being felt alien, felt unnatural and a desire to explore something different was planted. Uranus is the higher form of Mercury, it is the third eye of the cosmos, with a futurist aspect it asks us deeply to move into a space of looking beyond what we see with our naked eye. Moving through Taurus, the zodiac of our earth, Gaia, the mother, the sign of our security, our luxury, what we truly want began the inner exploration, curiosity to begin to understand what we truly want in our relationships. And this is not something that comes from a selfish place, it comes from a place of honouring our worth in a sovereign manner. Saturn helped us to purge the old fashion conditioning of marriage, connection and the dynamics of a relationship. Uranus gave us hope that we are worthy of something different, that allows us to have freedom and room to express our own deep creative expression. Venus, she has been weaving her magical energy through us, to make sure no emotional need is missed, along with Pluto asking us to make the time to do the work, if not there will be a big price to pay. This year a deep focus on our relationships has certainly given us insight to view them with a new perspective. And this is not easy, it is not about the insight that these beautiful planets bring up within us, it is the call to action what they are asking us to step into for true authentic Soul connections.

Whenever we experience change, any form of cleanse, or detox or self exploration there is always a discomfort. It is difficult to digest, process and to understand, why me, why us, why, why, why? I feel it is time for us to come together as a collective, in harmony, with no prejudices or judgement how others are, so we can protect future generations, the planet, through compassion and empathy. As a default, if we don’t work hard for something how do we know its true value in our hearts.

As the cyclical pattern of the cosmos, moving around the slow moving hard planets, we’ve had hard squares, trines, t-squares, oppositions, conjunctions and retrogrades (positions and space between the planets pulling at our inner emotional polarity  and thus impacting our psyche), have given us a beautiful opportunity to work through the most challenging personal and deep parts of ourselves to release, and to bring a sense of maturity, responsibility and to experience an easy flow of joy. There is no set model of how relationships ‘should’ look like, or who they ‘should’ be with, or what they ‘should’ make us feel. It is only our individual hard work of courage to look at ourselves with awareness and ask what fears am I holding on to that I continuously project into my relationships with others? Lets have a look at some major planetary movements of the last 10 months…

January 2019 we opened the year with a partial solar eclipse in Capricorn, where Saturn and Pluto were moving at their own pace. The new moon indicated to us at the start of the year, to bring balance to our feminine energy that we have suppressed for a very long time. And we also had Venus in Scorpio, where she is now in October 2019, indicating to us to bring up the shadows, explore the taboos, change the perspective because the way we have been in our relationships, is not enough. Something more needs to come into play, to unfold so we can have the courage to be open and go deeper even when we feel most vulnerable.

February 2019 we felt the new moon move through Aquarius. Aquarius is the sign of the future, scientific, higher intelligence that brings together the collective. As the moon moved through this sign it stirred desires to want something different, but at this stage we didn’t really know what that ‘different’ was. Its ruling planet, Uranus was at its last degree in Aries before moving into Taurus. And this highlighting that we deeply want to experience freedom for ourselves in whatever form that takes place. And this became the catalyst to focus on our needs, where we felt we are not seen, heard or understood. Aquarius new moon, pulled the plug in that instance on our personal and collective values and beliefs, penetrating the January theme of relationships, honouring the feminine energy and bringing the focus on our self worth and how we take care and nurture ourselves.

March 2019 a big month, with Mercury in retrograde in Pisces, Uranus moving into Taurus and a new moon in Pisces… wow what a combination here. Pisces is all about the heart, the collective to serve others in a meaningful way. And this was the trigger point to start to dive into finding the meaning behind our relationships and why we are doing what we are doing in our work and connections that we ‘put up with’ because we have history or commitment! Uranus in Taurus got us to reflect on our beliefs and values because something inside was not in alignment with our hearts. Pisces is all about the heart, the feeling the flow and with Mercury in retrograde here, it opened up the communication for emotional expression… and for some we got an insight, right there we wanted something different, something to change because we don’t have the perseverance to continue if we are not feeling valued. There are many different expressions of what we felt in March… I remember for me I kept having a strong feeling of what is the point of us being here, if we are not finding joy in what we put our energy in? I couldn’t shift this feeling. And as a Virgo, I worked harder and harder to please others and nothing I did changed the situation.

April 2019 this was the month of Pluto and Saturn going retrograde at the South Node. Asking us to deeply focus on what behaviours we need to detox from our tool box, so we can start to bring meaning and self worth into the forefront. April we saw Venus move into Pisces, which she loves, and here we started to get an understanding that 2019 was not going to be a year of brushing everything under the carpet. We had to find the courage to start planning those difficult conversations, whether they were with ourselves, with our friends or our beloveds. It is time, to let go of the heavy emotions that carry us down and for some of us we didn’t know why this shift was taking place. The new moon in Aries indicated for us to start to take action from the what we have been forced to look at from the first quarter of the year. Many of us felt, the inner feelings will blow over, or this is a phase, I have my period, or work is not giving me what I want, or we may felt out ‘outer’ world is not in sync. Little did we know that the work had to come from within… the dive of the ‘inner’ was where the change was taking place. Like before the volcano erupts, it stirs deep within the earth, which creates a pressure before it releases its heat, exhales!

May 2019 new moon in Taurus, emotionally we felt our own security or a sense of wanting something of value was the only way to truly understand what we need. We also, felt a sense of denial to want something different because the full moon in Scorpio, started to reveal within us what hasn’t been seen before, especially with the Sun opposite in Taurus, the focus of values, beliefs, conditioning and feelings of security. They came to light, to the surface, ready for us to become aware of what we do on a day to day basis that lost its ‘magic’.  We experience a month that something had to change, our introspection work started and we became brave enough to opened our hearts in our vulnerability to want what we truly deserve. Unconditional love, without the noise from the past.

June 2019 Neptune went into retrograde in Pisces. It was the undercurrent energy running through us, to go ahead because we deserve better, we deserve to be happy and joyful regardless of old conditioning that held us back. That can put all our dreams, desires and wanting joy on the back burner. Many feelings about our sexual orientation, our tastes, our needs, our wants, our values started to come up and a burning desire within spoke to us to make a radical change in all our relationships. Some of us perhaps connected with the past. Some of us looked at our beloveds and felt a pang of pain because we wanted to be seen, we wanted to be nurtured, to be touched, to be heard and to be loved as we are, not what others project onto us.

July 2019 the month that most of us are still recovering from.. two eclipses, mercury retrograde in Leo and moved into Cancer, opposite Saturn and Pluto, finally we take action by finding words that come from the heart, to communicate with compassion and love what we need to bring a radical shift in our life. The conversations here were all about exploring what has come up, what has been boiling, what we have ‘shut up and put up’ with vibe for so long, was expressed fuelled with love at a higher expression, and low expression it was being on the receiving end of a big pub brawl, out of the blue. July penetrated the change deep within us, the cogs changed here because the most important learning to take care of ourselves in times of trouble and strife was the only action we have power over. Conversations got diluted through heavy emotional disconnections. Something old had released. Saturn and Pluto in the sign of leadership and power certainly highlighted the necessary old ways of being that cannot work anymore. We left July feeling emotionally radical whether that was personal or the collective, the mid point of 2019 started the snow ball of self transformation. What do I need to change within myself to become a better version of me and to vibrate higher so I can make meaningful connections that give ‘me’ something back.

August 2019 we moved into this month still rattled by the big shift from July. The only planet here that was on our side was Jupiter going direct, after its retrograde in April bringing to surface a sense of ‘i can fix this’ attitude. We experienced that its best to surrender to what will unfold, even if we didn’t have the wisdom to see what lessons were being highlighted. Uranus goes into retrograde, and Venus is in Leo, with the New moon in Virgo, we had to find an outlet to put our creative energy towards. August gave us insight that all will be well as long as we start doing the work, Virgo, to serve others, and to set good examples to others as we owe to ourselves. This month some of us took the first step to feel into something new and different, even though there was a lot of fear echoing deep within us from the previous months.

September 2019 Saturn goes direct… the release of the heaviest energy becoming lighter, but with a new profound wisdom. Although all the plans and the inner conversations we had with ourselves, everything on the outer seemed different. Perhaps some of us, tapped into our memory bank and started to relive the good parts of our relationships, but this delusion only caused more heartache, or even a solid confirmation of what the end of the year was going to bring for us all. Who are we, now that we’ve done this work, now that we’ve spent time to focus on our spiritual practices to unearth and unroot the shadows that tormented us and blinded us to make choices that were not suited for our growth. With Saturn going direct, we experienced a karmic life changing aspect, that we knew deep down we are not the same person that saw this year come into the horizon in January. The sun and moon in Libra, opposite Aries got us to explore the relationships that needed to a balance. Where and why do I hold myself back if I want a relationship to work? The work in September got us to reflect back so we can stop blaming and start looking at our own dysfunctional behavioural patterns that need a big shift. We sat and observed without judgement, we felt strength and we felt uncertainty, but if we connected with our hearts we know everything is unfolding in the divine timing of our own evolution of relationships.

October 2019 the Phoenix rising, Pluto Kali goes direct, along with this movement she brings with us a sense of ‘are you sure’ vibe. There is no room for spiritual bypassing here. Looking back at our behaviours and our relationships with this new profound wisdom and insight, we have a choice to return and reconnect so we can come together, purged, cleansed and meet to rise to a deeper understanding. This month we experience a new moon in Scorpio, along with the Sun, Venus and Mercury. Scorpio always works with shadow themes, sex, cycles, patterns and something changing so something new can be birthed. The new moon this month is the last cycle of purging. Mercury goes into retrograde on halloween and we have Uranus opposite to Scorpio in Taurus, inviting something surprise that will shock us. The cosmos knows there is work still to be done. We are dealing with relationships, and with this comes doubt and also excitement and hope. It is a month that penetrates the deep aspects of our Self, to shift our perspective emotionally. Pluto the ruling planet of Scorpio comes again in the spotlight, encouraging us things change, and shift and so do our emotions. We may surprise ourselves.

Scorpio is vulnerable and it doesn’t like being in the spotlight, so we may express our vulnerability through fear or radical action. Saturn is there to remind us to slow down to think carefully, even though we will want to act, because we taste freedom. Our impulsive actions or behaviours may cause shock freak accidents, perhaps physically or emotionally. October is the month were we start to get insight of what is to be unfolded in November.

November 2019 is a stir fry of emotions. Neptune goes direct and we experience its movement after a long time in Pisces, in the last degree as it slowly makes its way toward Aries in 2020. Full moon in Taurus and opposite Mercury in its last stages of retrograde before it stations and ready to move direct in December, this brings up difficulty to communicate what we feel because we truly are not aligned with what we are waiting for to unfold. There is still hope, there is still the residue of the year that needs to be unpacked. Mars will be opposite Uranus, causes outburst of anger of directed at those that have hurt us. It is also the energy of sexual power, but it will be short lived, because the moon brings up the self worth. Yes go and experience what you need but something will be triggered that brings you back to where you will be nurtured and seen, loved and accepted because of who you are not who others want you to be.

December 2019 we almost made it to the end of the year. The energy this time of the year is active and time to make relationships real. Jupiter moves into Capricorn and the theme for the next 12 months is to bring about the wiser understanding of security, projects and authentic relationships. As we started the year with a partial solar eclipse in Capricorn we also end the year on on a solar eclipse in Capricorn. A full 360 for some of us, coming back to feel the essence of ourselves with the relationships we have experienced within and truly mastered the new version of ourselves. Tapping into the authentic Self so we have more love, more compassion, more self worth of being in this world and planting the seeds for 2020 with new insight.

Jeff Brown quotes “As friendships grow closer, conflict becomes more difficult to avoid. And this is often a good thing. Because the closer we get to each other’s hearts, the more triggers rise into view. Because you wont know if a connection has legs, until it’s tested by conflict. And when it is, there is a choice to be made – walk away in disgust, or walk towards in an effort to deepen the connection. Conflict isn’t the adversary of connection. Fear of confrontation… is”.

It’s a big year. And we wouldn’t want anything less, because we know with the hardest lessons, the difficult conversations we walk away or together with a deeper acceptance of who we are, instead of trying to be something that doesn’t resonate within. We have to also remind ourselves that we are here to witness the magic of transformation, and with that there is never the right time for anything for us… however the cosmic wisdom gives us the chance to play out each scenario that comes so we can fully understanding where we need to purge and let go of all that is necessary. Underneath this penetrating year of growth, we have been reminded to take care of ourselves, to nurture ourselves, to bring in the self love that we express or search for in others. It starts with you first!

Happy purging next week… ‘magic is a shift of perception’ and sometimes this is all we have. It does take work to truly get to that space.