Spiritual hangover: meeting the ego

This is a magical week of self exploration! For some of us, it will be a reflection of how our ego penetrates old patterns which in turn give us the same lessons or experience. And for others a time of sitting in what is true in the making of our future. Neither expression is easy to face. This week we have the planet of communication Mercury moving out of Sagittarius and into Capricorn. It is definitely the energy that reignites the Solar Eclipse vibration we felt on Boxing Day. Whether a seed was planted or something shifted within us, Mercury invites us to listen, to express, to be curious about that energy. If you didn’t acknowledge anything, the Solar Eclipse energy is still here with us until the end of next week, and here it is important to sit, listen, become fully present, distract ourselves from the festive and NYE noise to tune into what makes us drive forward for 2020.

Clear club

The teaching

Over the last six months I’ve become fully aware of watching my own thoughts, as if observing myself through different eyes. I see myself surrounded by clear thick glass. I can hear others, interact with them, and yet I stammer in my own actions. It is a feeling from the work that I’ve personally endured, and I name it ‘the spiritual hangover’. As Shakespeare once quoted “Life … is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.” this is the very energy most of us are sitting in. We are finding things to do for the sake of doing them, or because they’ve always been done this way before. We are performing our daily tasks the same way we’ve always done, but something seems different, it feels abstract, it feels alien. And this is a spiritual hangover. We will feel this even more near the end of this week when the war, active, persistent, energy of Mars moves into the fire sign of Sagittarius, the philosopher, the inner guru, the spiritual guide that resonates within us all. On a higher understanding it is simply the Divine within us, begging us to walk the path we are destined to do without the ego roadblocks.

Understanding the dynamics of the Ego

Ego is good when used in a healthy way, it helps us to get on with our day. The ego becomes a roadblock when we are attached to certain ideals, beliefs or dogmatic ways of being. Mercury moving into Capricorn, the sign that represents structure and governance, inner power, foundations, perseverance, and goal orientated are the very qualities required for the next 12 months. Mercury is asking here to express our deepest truth even if it goes against the grain. With the planet Jupiter dancing in Capricorn until December 2020 we are not going to get away with old patterns and destructive behaviours or attitudes.

Then there is our ego, it comes in different shades, highlights and brings to the forefront our shadow, our selfish acts for personal superficial gains. It also shows up in our constant addiction to behaviours, stories, and beliefs of fear within us ‘I’m not good enough’ ‘I cannot achieve this’ ‘Nothing ever goes right for me’ ‘Why can’t I have the rewards for my hard work’ ‘Why do I need to follow these rules to get on to my path’ ‘My path has already been laid out and so I have no power to change it’ ‘I’m confused about my feelings’ ‘All this hard work, I don’t have the energy’… and it goes on and on and on. Only this time we hear these statements louder and somehow they don’t make sense. It feels as though we are observing ourselves and noticing our own behaviours and destructive patterns of self sabotage. Perhaps we don’t feel we deserve it. Or perhaps we are uncertain of the power that is awakening within us all and yet we hold tight on our traditions, our personal traditions and rituals even though it feels super weird.


Power of this week

The ultimate wisdom from this week we are being asked to step into the ‘NOW’. Although, this might be a little challenging as everyone is preparing to be in the best spot with their people on NYE… planning for 2020. That will come in good time. Using the power of this moment, allows us to step into a few things; firstly it gives us insight on how much our ego projects our actions, even though our hearts may feel different; secondly it taps into what is true for us ultimately for 2020, which is different from planning. Tapping into our authentic truth, may mean going against the grain, going against what our people have done, going against beliefs that have worked before, going against our own ideals, dogma, and the status quo. It means to be courageous, to be creative, to be curious and to truly pave a path that hasn’t been discovered.

This energy is within us all. We will feel it and we will want to act. Acting doesn’t necessarily mean getting into your car to see the person you’ve been missing, or write that email to your boss, spouse or friends, or declare war within that penetrates discombobulated vibes that just makes the external environment messy. It does mean we sit and observe within our own universes, tap into our Divine aspects and allow this energy to set the path forward. 2020 is a big year for most signs to take care of your needs, to walk the path some of us have been denying, to open the doors of our destiny, to put our needs before others, to take care in the manner that perhaps makes life a little less sexy because we don’t have a captive audience. It is the very energy of self metamorphosis in action and that is difficult to grapple for most of us. So be kind.

Use this week wisely, and sometimes that might just mean resting, meditating or even journaling. We will all get our time to heal, shed and purge what is not ours and we will get a chance to embrace our destiny because we were willing, at all odds to shine our inner Divine selves through the wild jungle of fear within all of us and finally heal from this massive ‘spiritual hangover’.


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